Re-Finding Your Spark
Updated: Jun 1, 2023
What sparks your happiness?
What can fan the flame of your passions?
Whatever it is...Do more of THAT!!
{You know...as long as it is LEGAL & not harmful to anyone!! lol}
Have you found yourself in a place where you can't find your spark?
I know with me, I can get quite distracted. It can be way too easy for me to get sucked into the constant scrolling on social media sites. On the days that I'm feeling overwhelmed or overstimulated, hiding in my room with my phone and just mindlessly looking through shorts, reels, posts, or videos is a must. BUT, as that type of stimulation is helping me decompress after a busy day, my brain is enjoying itself SO much, that it just has a hard time letting us stop this activity. It wants to continue feeling good {can't blame it there}, so it decides that keeping on watching these short little bursts of visual stimuli is the EASIEST way to do that! {Our brains are quite lazy & will always look for the easiest path to it's end goal!} Next thing I know, I've stepped over the line into "addiction tendencies"...it will get harder & harder to stop...my brain is wanting more and more to keep that feel good feeling going!
These are the days that I lose sight of my spark. I am allowing myself to be pulled into things & feelings that are not really fueling my creative nature, my purpose, or my well being. I feel bad. Now I'm WAY behind on cleaning, writing, bills, and other responsibilities. Things are piled up & way out of control to the point that it's so hard to see a good starting point. At this point, it all begins to feel "way too much"...then I freeze. Nothing happens. Nothing gets done. Which ends up just compounding the issue. I'm stuck.
I'm learning more and more about ADHD. There is SO much to it. The deeper I dig, and the more I find out, the more fascinating it is to me. Dopamine is in short supply in an ADHD brain. We have to work a bit harder to get our brains to light up with that good feeling reward chemical. I believe it is the SPARK for those with ADHD. When you get a nice hit of dopamine, you will also get a hit of satisfaction & motivation. It's that feel good sensation when you have accomplished and/or achieved something...and makes your brain crave more of it! Watching the hilarious huskies that people post on their shorts & reels can most definitely give off those reward chemicals. I mean, they are great! You watch the video, you have a big belly laugh, it feels good...your brain will want more. The trick here, is that you MUST regulate your intake, or you will build up a tolerance. This is what happens to me. I overindulge. Next, my hyperfocus takes over, and I am all about these funny snippets. I am avoiding anything & everything else that needs my attention. I try to break away, maybe fill the dishwasher, then I'm right back to it. Then, before I know it, I've hit my tolerance level to where I'm just not getting the same reaction from spending my time with these fragments of funny pups like I was before. And now, my house is a mess, I'm behind on EVERYTHING, and where I begin feeling bad {like I was mentioning previously}, because my spark has lost it's glow {basically my dopamine has bottomed out}.
Can you relate??
What are my tips if you find yourself in this same type of situation??
First and foremost, you MUST be patient with yourself. When I am dopamine depleted, I am extra tired, feeling kinda numb, possibly a bit moody, and my emotions can be all over the place. One day I may feel nothing at all, the next day I will feel EVERYTHING all at once.
Gift yourself with grace no matter where you are on the feelings spectrum. If you are tired, rest. If you are emotional, cry. If you are angry, go for a walk. If you need to talk, call a friend. If you have things you need out of your head, journal. If you are hungry, get a snack. If you need a moment, take it. If you are lonely, get with a loved one. If you can't go out, then stay home. It is up to you to listen to what you need, and give it to yourself.
Remember that... It is OK. YOU are OK. Everything will be OK. {Just FYI: OK doesn't mean perfect...but it is doable. This shall pass. Hold on, and you will make it to the other side.}
Look for opportunities to ignite your spark again. This one is pretty personal. Only YOU know what will strike that flame for YOU. Here's what it took to get me back in a good space this last time...
My oldest son wanted to have friends over. After my initial panic over this, it ended up being the perfect motivation for me to just START the backed up housework. It was more important to me that he be able to do this, than sitting in my own overwhelm so that I couldn't do anything. Basically...it kicked my rear into gear!! Once I saw my cleared off counter after finishing all of the dishes...it felt REALLY good! {Dopamine surge} I wanted MORE, so I kept going and going with the cleaning. Was the house perfect when my son's friends came over? Nope, not even close. It was OK. Cleaner than it's been in MONTHS. It was doable for his get together, and that was the important thing.
I caught an Instagram reel that was about remembering the 1980s. The song that was playing hit my nostalgic nerve, and I couldn't make myself an 80s playlist on my Spotify fast enough! Music is a good coping mechanism for me. My favorite time to listen is when I'm in my car alone. I can turn the radio up, and really belt it out!! There is science behind this...singing like that can be healing, and make you feel great! Even though we are trying our best to watch our budget, I did stop in at a local thrift store to look around. Ended up finding my new favorite outfit! The whole outfit was 1/2 off it's price that day...BONUS!! It's a 1950's inspired shirt, skirt, and slip on shoes! So very cute! I'm planning on wearing it when Danny & I visit our first local coffee shop in our "Coffee Shop Hop" series {Keep an eye out for THOSE}!!
Look for things that will rekindle your spark...be it listening to your favorite tunes, watching a favorite show, getting coffee with a friend, buying a new outfit, making plans with your significant other, invite someone over to motivate getting started on your cleaning, start a new hobby, get the ingredients to try a new recipe...whatever it is that works for YOU!!
The hardest part is just starting.
Once you get going though...be sure to KEEP MOVING FORWARD!!
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