Building Your Life Around What's Important to YOU
It's time to reflect on who we are and
what is most important in this life.
I'm not totally sure where I want to go from here. It feels like there is the opportunity to "start over", in a sense....but, seriously....who would I even want to be if given the opportunity to transform into something else?? And, what does that REALLY mean??
Can anyone relate to this kind of feeling?? There are so many self-help books, blogs, articles, and YouTube videos out there sharing "how to be the new you", "transform your life in 6 months", "do 'this and that' and you'll be a whole new person". I even had my own sub-group from my homeschool support group called, "A New You" where I posted motivational quotes, journal prompts, and such. I like the idea of remaking yourself and starting again. But in all honesty, my brain literally can not wrap itself around this concept. At the end of the day, you are still YOU. No matter what you do, how you feel, what you think, where you go...it is still YOU. Something that always bothers me is...where are you expected to put the "old you"??
At least for myself, I am the biggest "noticer" of every one of my faults. I see them all, in all of their glory. My full on laundry list of things I wish I didn't have on my plate to deal with everyday...oh yeah, there are quite a few I wouldn't mind seeing what my life would be like without them. But, at the same time, every single one of them...every single flaw, quirk, & charm...all make me 'ME'. It seems to make more sense to me to learn more ways to accept, acknowledge, and learn to love who you are, explore what makes you happy, & add more of that into your life then trying to change yourself "into someone new".
It may seem easier to just attempt to throw away what isn't working, what isn't fitting your vision for yourself, what you perceive as 'broken', or what is old & worn out. Replace it all with something shiny & new. I feel like this could all be just an illusion though. You will forever be YOU...no matter how many self help books you read, how many 5am mornings you have, how many organic foods you eat, how many workouts you do, how many goals you achieve....your baggage is coming with you if you like it or not! Yes, depending on what "your baggage" consist of...you may be able to let go of some of it. I do believe that if you can heal certain things, and allow yourself to move on...then you may be able to leave that piece behind. But, you will still be carrying everything else that has just become a part of what makes you so uniquely YOU...your thoughts...your beliefs...your personality traits...your moral compass...your mental well-being...your mental not-so-well-being...your emotional hiccups...your coping mechanisms that work...your coping mechanisms that DON'T work...your memories {good, not good, and bad}...your perceived & real hurts and traumas you've collected on your journey...your diagnoses...your undiagnoses...your anxieties...your this & that...your etc., etc., etc.
But what if it isn't as much about "creating a new you" as it is working with & using the "you" you were given as a starting point, and building UP from there? Adding to your everyday more of what makes this life worth living...what makes you happy...and what is most important to you.
Know Who You Are. Know Your Interests.
Figure out the difference between "what is interesting to you" and "what you are interested in doing".
I've seen countless videos and articles about starting your day at 5am, and what a huge difference it will make. For some, it may...For me?? I'd be miserable!! I'm old enough now that I know deep down that I'm just not made for that kind of lifestyle endeavor. I do still watch the videos, because I think it is very interesting, but it is NOT something that I am interested in doing for myself. I'd rather find solutions to help me be more focused and productive during times that work better for my body to be awake.
After a few different attempts of growing our own garden foods, and decorating our patios with pretty plants, I've realized that I see it as more interesting to see what others do with growing plants, but have found that it is just something that does not bring me the joy that it clearly brings to others. Some people can spend hours making their gardens and yards look so beautiful....Me, though, I'm more interested in spending hours writing!!
This is a newer realization for me. I like the THOUGHT of being someone who wakes up early, I like the THOUGHT of being someone who loves growing plants and tinkering around in the greenhouse....but, that is just not MY reality. Neither of these things bring me happiness...so I need to not spend time on trying to figure out ways to make either of these work for me. I can just enjoy what others do.
It is just as important to know what ISN'T for you, as it is to know what you are looking to have more of in your life. Be honest with yourself. Acknowledge it, and accept it. It was quite the weight off of my shoulders once I embraced that I am just NOT an early riser, and didn't have to worry about getting up at the crack of dawn to "be a new me"...because that just isn't ME. It was a relief once I accepted the fact that I was NOT a gardener in any way, shape, or form, and didn't have to stress about forgetting to weed or water, wasting food that didn't get harvested, or feeling the disappointment when it just doesn't work out. No matter how many plants I planted...it would not make me "be a new me"...because that just isn't ME.
Once I was able to stop wasting time on trying to be someone I'm not, I have more time to be who I really am, and fill my days with things that truly bring me happiness.
What is really important to YOU?
Grab a notebook, it's time to make a list!!
This list will be very personal...individual...made specifically for just you, by you. What's important to me will be different from what's important to you. So be perfectly honest with yourself here...no need to put things that you feel "should be" listed, or think something like, "What would 'So & So' put on their list?".
If you have a significant other, or would like to have your children join in...feel free to do this!! Let everyone get to add more of what is important to them into their lives!! More people doing this the better, I say!!
Just start putting things down. Don't worry about order...nothing, at this point, needs to be more important than anything else.
So, what is really important to YOU?? Is it your family? Your health? Your job? Your goals? Your house? Or a combination of things? Feel free to be petty here! Is it your clothes? Your shoes? Your manicured nails? Whatever it is that makes your heart sing. A better marriage? Closer relationship with your parents? Go on more adventures? List everything that you would want more of in your life to create that happy life just for you!! Pretty sure there is no rule that you have to limit what is important to you....so write them all down!!
And....GO!!!!
Fill your heart with what's important & be done with all the rest.
Build Your Life Around What's Important to YOU!
Now, as you go through your list, one item at a time...how can you build MORE of THAT into your life?
Let's say.... family is on your list. It's a good one! So how can you create more "familyness"?? Start a family game night?? Family movie night?? Bedtime routine where everyone gets together to chat about their day?? Family dinners?? Visit other family members?? Plan a family reunion...if it goes well, make it an annual thing! Put together photo albums or scrapbooks for your adventures together. Make mundane daily chores a full on fun family affair!! Come up with "just for your family" kinda things...like, set it up so if you say, "Alexa, Play My Fam Jam", it will play a fun song that everyone has to stop what they are doing and have a dance party!!
The list can go on and on and on...once you feel like you have a good set of ideas, break them down and get them started!! Maybe you definitely want to start a Family Game Night. Pick a day/time...have some of your own games ready, or go buy a new one to try out. Maybe plan a special menu for that night, or a spread of everyone's favorite snack foods!! Hit up Pinterest for some great ideas!! Then....make it happen!!
Start doing this with every thing that is on your list. You can jump in and do a bunch, or take it slow and add 1 thing at a time, try it out, and go from there. We are all different, so do what works best for you & your family.
I believe this is another way to "Start Where You Are"
Our last post was about Start Where You Are....we decide what direction we want to go in, take one step in that direction, then another. THIS can get you started...give you some ideas to take those first handful of steps...then it's up to you to KEEP MOVING FORWARD!!
Remember that it doesn't have to be about creating a "new you"...it can be about creating a life where you are surrounded by all the things that bring you happiness.
"Build it, and they will come", is a popular quote....
here, we can use... "Build it, and happiness will follow".
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