Happy Homemaker

"The most important work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home."

This week, we've been...by real no effort on our part...falling into a halfway decent routine. I've been liking it. It definitely isn't anything to "write home about"...I don't even know if anyone would really be interested in what is working for us because it is quite the opposite of the ones people make YouTube videos or blogs about.

BUT...this happy accident of a routine is working for us RIGHT NOW. I know it won't last long. Liam's classes will be over at the end of May...so, we won't have to be up as early in the morning to drop him off. Zach will soon be looking for another job to help him earn some spending...and saving...money, so that will most definitely throw the flow we have off a bit with having to drive him to & from work. Then we can't forget to take in account for all those other hiccups & changes that life just loves to throw at us.

I'll have to do a "day in the life" write up one day maybe...to breakdown what our days look like, but I'm writing to you today to talk more about what I've been able to reclaim with this new routine. And that is... getting back to my "happy homemaker" roots.

Growing up, all I wanted to be was a wife & mother. I was made to be a stay at home mom. After my Husband & I got our first house together, we decided I would become just that!! My dream come true!! I loved it...really I did. But, reality made it so much harder to be that "perfect" wife & mom during those years to come. Four kiddos to raise...laundry out the wazoo ALL THE TIME...never ending dishes that needed done...high spirited boys to challenge everything I knew & held dear...bills that needed paid...homeschooling, enough said...a homeschool group that I started that needed my attention...oh my...it definitely was NOT as glamourous as I had imagined. But, don't get me wrong here...I was VERY happy!! I just held on as tight as I could for the ride!

In THAT "beginning" season...I was still learning, researching, & finding inspiration. I think somewhere, deep down, although I did NOT want to admit it, I knew the kids would not be little forever. Eventually, they would not need as much of me or my time. My days would be freed up to become the "happy homemaker" that I knew I could be!!

A couple years ago, give or take... I went through some deep emotional troubles...which knocked me way off of any path of who I was striving or wanting to be. I had quite a bit of inner shadow work that needed done...but I was avoiding it, hoping that it would all just go away. But, I found out, that is just not how that works. You HAVE to work through it. Again, this would probably be best for another post all on it's own.

During those dark months, it was just tough. I had NO motivation to do or be anything. Hiding in my room, most of the time sleeping, was about all I could really manage in my days. Chores were definitely not getting done...only doing the laundry I had to for the the next couple days or so...making whatever for dinner that was the quickest & easiest so I wouldn't have to put much effort into it. Ugh. It was NOT a good time for me.

Here, within the past month or so, I'm feeling like I'm just about to the other side of it all. I've almost made it through!! Not totally, quite yet...there is a bit more to go...but I can see the light for sure!! I'm feeling more like...ME...which, I haven't seen this part of ME in some time. It's a bit of who I used to be, but also a new kind of ME, if that even makes sense to anyone else??

I think what it is, is after your emotions are put thru the ringer...a lot of "yourself" get "broken down"...mentally, spiritually, emotionally {obviously}, and even physically. While you are going through that "dark night of the soul", you are not only working thru the hurt & pain, but you are rebuilding yourself...and when this happens...a lot like when anything physical gets broken...it just doesn't go back together exactly the same...there are differences....it will NEVER be the same again.

In the past couple of weeks, I've been reminded of the homemaker that I always wanted to be. With this new "somewhat of a routine" routine, I've been able to spend my afternoons going about my day working on chores to keep the house kept [better than I have in a long, long time}, enjoying making lunches for my boys {on most days}, pulling together dinners for the family in the evening, having said dinner around our kitchen table together, and taking the time to do little extras for my Hubby. It all comes with a good deal of feeling accomplished at the end of my day. Which is a much better feeling than where I was just a few months ago!

Looking up, reading & watching things on being a homemaker...it feels different than it did before. Which, I guess is because of what I've been through...I've changed, and grown, and just feel a little different about things than I did a couple of years ago. But, it is something that I am still drawn to!! It is a lifestyle...it is a big part of MY lifestyle...and I'm happy that I have found my way back.

Stepping back into this role with both feet at THIS season is SO much different than it was when I had four little ones running amuck!! Being in my 40's instead of my 20's has it's perks!! Not only is it filled with going about my day making my family's house a home, and being able to make sure my Husband knows how much I love & appreciate him...there is a lot more time for my own self-care, which is SO very vital to my emotional well-being! Having the time & opportunity to create MY-time, it is much easier to keep the shadow self happy, acknowledged, & loved...which, helps keep it in check!!

Keeping my focus on ME, my family, & my home...this upcoming year has no other choice but to be a good one!! {fingers crossed!!}

Sending Love & Light to YOU!!!